I'm human again

I'm beginning to feel SO much better. I almost feel human again! I'm sorry for all of the depressing FB statuses and comments. I was very discouraged by the end of last week. Not only was I extremely emotional, I hadn't counted on the medicine making me feel worse than I already did. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I was too tired, weak, and constantly dizzy. Plus it was all I could do not to cry all the time. Not fun. I had a lot of stress this weekend that made it even worse. I've become better at listening to my body and resting when I need to rest though.

I have felt pretty good since yesterday. I think it helped that I was able to go out and get some stuff done (with the help of my little sister, Melissa). It made me feel functioning again. I just have to remember to take it easy. I so badly want to run around like I usually do, but I get tired quickly so I have to remember to stop and relax every couple of hours. Plus I still can't drive all of the time. The stinking heat doesn't help matters! I got to go out and have ice cream with Becky yesterday and I got to meet Patty for lunch today. I've been working for Suzi at school for a couple of hours in the morning this week. I'm thinking this week will continue to go like this- Work at school until I get tired (usually 2-3 hours even though Melissa is really doing all of the work), go home and lay down for an hour, go do something fun with someone, come home and take a nap, do some light work at home/dinner with a friend, relax, sleep. I'm hanging with the Cook family tomorrow and meeting Angela for dinner on Friday. Anyone want to hang out on Thursday?

Today I realized that I hadn't returned my contract for the 10-11 school year and they are due today, so I had to make a trip to the Mesa Bank Building in the middle of the day. It was SO hot I was instantly tired, even though I'd just woken up from my nap. I was very embarrassed because most of the time you can't tell when my symptoms flare up, but when Melissa and I were trying to get on the full elevator (after Kevin Mendival got out) my left leg and arm went wonky and I had to throw my arm out to stop the door from closing and then hobble into the elevator. I got dizzy and had to grab onto Melissa's arm. I almost started crying. I look fine on the outside. No one can see my brain lesions (except the radiologist and my neurologist). All the people in the elevator were looking at me like I was going to keel over. I did not enjoy it.

I still have all of my MS symptoms, but they happen less often now. My doctor said the medicine would take 6-7 days to work and I started them last Monday, so I guess I thought it would be better already. I'm not complaining though. At least I can function now! My next doctors appointment is on Monday morning, so I will know about treatment and other things then.

I'm still a little emotional sometimes. Especially late at night. It's silly, but I alternately feel sad and hurt or really good and sappy. Both are annoying because I say stupid things either way. Sorry if I've said something to you that made you say, "Okaaaaay." : ) It stinks because as soon as I'm rational I'm like, "Yeah, sorry about that." Geesh! I'm not going to have any friends when I'm done with this.